S80P29 – Growth spurts: self-awareness

Jn. 8:7‭-‬9 

So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.”  And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.  Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last.  And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

The client was a problem from day one.  While he certainly had the right to request that his needs be met while he was a customer of the business, he always seemed to go a step further.  When making his requests, he wanted to make sure that things were done a certain way even if it was against protocol or procedure.  At times, he would have his complaints resolved and his needs met but still have a problem with how things were done.  He was the one who we never could make happy or satisfied.  That was our expectation of our interactions with him, and we simply were resigned to that fact.  That is why it struck us as odd when he shared with us during one conversation how he saw himself.  In his mind, he was easygoing and calm, easily pleased, a pleasure to be around.  It became clear to us that the person he saw in the mirror was much different than the person we encountered daily. 

There is a common thread between self-awareness and conviction.  The man who does not know himself will not admit his wrongs and allow himself to be convicted because he sees himself as much different or much better than he is.  Imagine having a conversation with someone who tells you a lie and sincerely believes that lie.  You can argue until you are blue in the face, but that argument will get you nowhere.  That person must come to the realization and acceptance that what they have chosen to believe is actually untrue.  Many of us have chosen to believe certain things about ourselves which are simply false because they are how we would like to be but not how we are.  We do not allow ourselves to become self-aware enough to know where we are wrong and how we need correction.  The Holy Spirit cannot direct us, and God cannot forgive us, if we do not first take a clear view of ourselves and admit who and how we are. 

Self-awareness is part of what brings us to our knees when we fall before Christ and ask him to save us.  We first must realize that we are indeed lost, broken, and unable to save ourselves.  We can trick ourselves into believing that we excel in certain areas when we actually are deficient in them and need someone to help us grow.  The funny thing is that many times the people we encounter in our daily lives know much more about us than we care to accept or admit about ourselves.  If we are to grow spiritually and continue on that road, we must allow God to show us more and more of ourselves and how we need to change.  Father, thank You for the insight and direction that You give us, and we ask that You allow us to have a clear picture of who we are and what we still need from You.