S134P7 – A message to Ephesus: marital success
Eph. 5:22-28
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
I have come to know my share of charmed marriages within the Church. I have known husbands and wives who walk together in ministry, discipling other men and women in the word. These couples were a model to follow. However, it was not too long after I had become a Christian before I encountered what I did not expect; some of these great marriages ended. I was not so naive as to think that divorce was a non-issue in the Church, but this was different. These were people with whom I had worshipped and served in ministry. These were marriages we all wanted to see succeed, but only they could put in the work to make that happen.
Paul is clear in his instruction here, and what he says can be difficult for many people to accept. Marriage imposes duties on those who choose to enter that institution, and these duties point in the same direction. Whether a husband or a wife, the successful spouse is one who understands selfless living. This picture of marriage mirroring the relationship between Christ and the Church is compelling. The way the Church is to submit to the Lord with trust, the same selfless submission is expected of a wife. The way Christ gave himself out of love for his Church, the same selfless love is expected of the husband. This undoubtedly will take more from some than they will desire to give.
To some, the idea of a wife submitting to her husband is archaic and inequitable. Others will argue that expecting Christ-like love from a mortal man is a recipe for disappointment. Yet, when we look at the model being presented, one thing is clear. If this is how the Church remains in good relationship with the Lord, the model must be good. It must be trustworthy and built on Godly wisdom. In all this, the goal must be singular. Both husband and wife must desire to live in a manner pleasing to the Lord, submitting themselves and their relationship to him first. Father, we ask for your protection over the marriages within your Church and a for a right understanding of this institution.